Rugby Positions

It is very dificult for the casual observer to determine what rugby possitions mean. Here is a complete, unbiased look at the different possitions:

The Pack #'s 1-8

Eight handsome burly guys whom you'll gladly give your beer and food to, and you'd want to marry your daughter. They are intelligent, elegant, sensitive, and sweet. Truly the ideal men.

The Backs #'s 9-15

Seven guys who will steal your beer while you're not looking, take advantage of your women folk, barnyard animals, and all tubular household objects. Often dine on quiche, brie cheese and wine. Been known to understand the rule of the ESPN Extreme games' rules. Regularly take blow dryers on road trips, wear bikini underpants, and carry STDs (AVOID AT ALL COSTS).

PROP #'s 1 & 3

Short but stout, these strapping men support the hooker, but no money ever changes hands and the act is never specificaly named.

Hooker  # 2

Often identified by a balding spot atop the head, these vertically challenged but talented men stand between the two props, and secures the ball for his team during scrummages.

Second Row #'s 4 & 5

These tall powerful men are the driving engines not only the scrum, but of the entire game. They can be found working their
magic from deep in the scrum, behind the front row, or lofting high above the line outs pulling balls from the air.

The Back Row #'s 6, 7, 8

Usually the most handsome and intelligent, these three men of strength are often considered the renisance men of the rugby field. They not only control the ball, but the entire pitch. Remember, the back row defines the whole team's style of play.

Scrumhalf   #9

The point guard of the rugby team the scrumhalf distributes the ball, runs, hits, and kicks. Scrumhalf is only half as handsome and burly as the pack members

Flyhalf  #10

The first of those back guys, and the first of the offensive chain. Often confused with an insect, may be referred to as the man with "the foot"

Centers #'s 12 & 13

Another pair of those back guys. Either power runner, or annoying scampering guy usually found in the opposite order, but whose main purpose is to get the ball to ...

Wings #'s 11 & 14

Ideally the fastest men on the team. Their job is to "score with the ball," but they often confuse it with "get tackled with the ball." Also an excellent snack when smothered in hot sauce and deep fried.

Fullback #15

The last line of defense. A back even the pack can appreciate, often viewed as a back row in the larval stage.
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